Suburban Oblivion

You guys know I don’t tend to post a lot of fluffy stuff, but I saw this posted somewhere and it rang way too true not to pass it on. Enjoy

Women vs.
Girls–

-Girls want to control the man in their life.
-Women know that if he’s truly hers, he doesn’t need controlling.

-Girls check you for not calling them.
-Women are too busy to realize you hadn’t.

-Girls are afraid to be alone.
-Women REQUIRE alone time-using it as a time for personal growth.

-Girls ignore the good guys.
-Women ignore the bad guys.

-Girls make you come home.
-Women make you want to come home.

-Girls wait for a guy to call and make plans.
-Women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

-Girls worry about not being pretty or good enough for their man.
-Women know that they are pretty and good enough for any man.

-Girls try to monopolize a man’s time
-Women know that a bit of space makes the ‘together time’ even more special and does her own thing til that time comes around

-Girls think a guy crying is a sign of weakness.
-Women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

-Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
-Women know that it was just one man.

-Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection
-Women know that sometimes the one you love doesn’t always love you back-and move on

-Girls will read this and get an attitude.
-Women will read this and pass it on to other women and their male friends.

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I turned 30 back in November. I didn’t blog about it.

I had planned to write about it, similar to what I did for my 29th birthday, describing the changes of the previous year, both in my circumstances, and my emotional state. If there is one thing I am truly proud of myself for, it’s the growth I have gone through in 2008. I have become such an astoundingly different person I hardly recognize myself. I’ve had to face a lot of hard truths in the last year, about my life, my marriage, myself. There was so much I wanted to share about turning 30, and I nearly did.

What stopped me was a gift. The most incredible, amazing gift. For my 30th birthday, someone very special gave me a round trip ticket to Ireland.

It seemed so crazy at first. I’m going through a divorce. My ex is fighting me for custody. I’m terrified of flying. I’ve only traveled out of the country once in my life, and that was to a resort in Cancun, which is just the McDonald’s version of Mexico. Did I mention I’m terrified of flying??

Yet for all the reasons why I shouldn’t go, there were just as many why I should. The week in question, my kids were going to be in Orlando with my ex for the annual week-long vacation to Disney. They wouldn’t be sitting home pining for my return, and suddenly sitting home alone myself that week seemed a bit silly. I kept telling myself it would look bad to take off out of the country for a week, but why? I’ve already admitted things under oath that I have done, and been accused of others I haven’t, and at the end of the day this wouldn’t bring anything new into the proceedings. The only thing that could stop me was my own fear. I could jump on this opportunity, or I could let worry and concern over what others might think continue to rule my life.

In the end I made my choice, and it was the best decision I have ever made.

I could tell you what it was like to immerse myself in another culture. I could tell you about the people I met, the things I did, and the relationships formed that will be a huge influence in my life over the coming years.

I promise one day I will.

For now I’ll say this- I have been born, I have grown up, and I have given birth three times over, but it took turning 30 before I finally learned to live.

Tags: 30, Ireland, Living

I noticed on Twitter some people were picking the song that for them summed up 2008. I could go a few different ways with this idea- appreciation for the friends who have been so supportive, the readers who haven’t abandoned me, or even that special someone(you know who you are) who I expect will be playing a huge role in my music choice for 2009.

That said, since with any luck my divorce should be final in the next couple months, I’ll quite happily dedicate 2008’s song to my ex. Without all the crap he’s tried to pull over the last 8 months, I’d have continued to believe I was the nothing he said I’d be without him. The truth is I am so much stronger than I ever thought possible.

Here’s to a healthy, happy 2009, wherever your path takes you.

Tags: divorce, music, New Year