Too Bad the Constitution Left Out Sex Toys.

Thanks to our founding fathers failing to write into the Constitution about a woman’s fundamental right to self-pleasure, the ass-backward state of Alabama is upholding a ban on the sale of sex toys. No, I WISH I was joking. Apparently sex toys lead to immoral behavior like prostitution and molestation. I don’t know about you guys, but just using the one little toy I have doesn’t exactly inspire me to go start screwing random strangers for money. Heck, it doesn’t even inspire me to sleep with my own husband, much less anyone else’s. I love men, I really do, but this is a law obviously pushed by a man with a little penis complex.

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    5 Comments

    1. Heather says:

      Oh dear. I hope that law also excludes all areas west of I 65 like it does for porn. Apparently, if you live west of I-65 that means you aren’t prone to prostitution & molestation, unlike those backward sickos who live north and east of it. And the locale makes perfect sense because Montgomery IS north and east of I-65…with it being the state capital, god knows it is full of perverts out to screw anyone they can!

    2. Stephanie says:

      Heck, it doesn’t even inspire me to sleep with my own husband, much less anyone else’s.

      I literally laughed out loud.

    3. Jennifer says:

      This is just priceless! Only in Alabama? I wonder…

    4. amanda says:

      One more reason to move back to VA!

    5. Mack says:

      As a male I have to ask: Just what are those chaps in Alabama afraid of? It sounds like someone is afraid of being put on the shelf in favor of Big John Hancock, the vibrating fireman. I don’t understand this sort of Bible belt hysteria. I am from Texas, were everything, I fear, is a potential sex toy. For we Texans jump at the chance to proclaim: Right To Bear Arms!

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