Mar25

Reason #21 I Am Not Cut Out To Raise Boys

09:27 pm on Mar 25th 2007 Sara

I just got done getting Brendan up for his nightly 9pm pee. He rarely has accidents anymore, but getting him up before I go to bed insures I don’t get woken up at 3am hearing “Mommy, me all wet”.  Better safe than sorry right?

Only there is a downside to waking a sleeping male and expecting him to urinate on command. Did I say downside? I guess technically it is an upside.  Yeah, that little issue.

I get my sleeping child up, guide him to the potty, pull his pants down as he rubs his eyes and blinks against the light, and usually he does his thing, and then sleepily runs back to bed. Obviously doing this every night I’m no stranger to seeing the soldier standing at attention, so to speak. Only tonight the flag was at full mass as opposed to half. Out of the bathroom my husband hears me screeching “No Brendan, point it down! In the toilet, point it down! Point it down!!” as my son stands there and half asleep, pees all over the bathroom wall.

I am quite indignant as I wiped down the wall and toilet, and relayed the story to my husband. His response surprised me. “Well, I’m with him on that one.” What..what? “What do you mean?”, I ask him.  He tells me when its standing at full attention like that, it hurts to point it down. So what, given the choice between a little pain(childbirth, yoohoo??) and me cleaning pee off the base of the toilet and walls, he prefers to sacrifice me?? Suddenly it all makes sense. All this time I assumed these things happen because my husband was too sleepy to even turn the bathroom light on. Now I know he just was afraid his poor peepee might hurt. Ugh.

I told him thats it, I am on strike. I’ll clean the sinks, tub and shower, but the toilet in our bathroom is now and forever his responsibility. He laughed, but I am dead serious.

Luckily we have a guest bathroom. I have a feeling ours will be, shall we say, less than sanitary soon.

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24 Responses to “Reason #21 I Am Not Cut Out To Raise Boys”

  1. Jennifer Mar 25th 2007 at 09:48 pm 1

    This is definitely a laugh out loud post! Of course, I’m laughing with you, not at you… as I realize this is an issue I will have to deal with!!!

  2. AbsolutelyBananas Mar 25th 2007 at 11:21 pm 2

    hilarious… and horrifying!

  3. Deborah Mar 26th 2007 at 04:58 am 3

    Oh my God that’s hillarious… well not for you! :-) Glad I have girls… well I am now… we’ll see when their teens! :-) Just found your blog - am enjoying reading it!

  4. Jennifer Mar 26th 2007 at 05:38 am 4

    You’re trying to melt my eyeballs, aren’t you?

    I can’t handle anymore penis stories. They skeere me.

  5. Robyn Mar 26th 2007 at 06:05 am 5

    Yep, pee on the walls. That’s my life….

  6. Beckie Mar 26th 2007 at 07:13 am 6

    And this is just another reason that I think I may just be happy with one little girl… why risk what’s left of my sanity?

  7. Jackie Mar 26th 2007 at 09:06 am 7

    Oh the joys to look forward to (my son just turned 2 and not quite potty trained yet)!

  8. Heather Mar 26th 2007 at 09:24 am 8

    Pee on the wall, floor, btdt. I’ve even witnessed a sleepy attempt to pee on the window. Go figure. I managed to divert that one in time. But girl, if you’re having to clean pee up after your husband, it is definitely time for a smack down. That is not usual grown male behavior. At least not in my world of 3 males and a lady. Maybe other women have similar issues?

  9. Sarah (In the Trenches of Mommyhood) Mar 26th 2007 at 12:07 pm 9

    Yep, that’s my life. Pee everywhere in a house with 4 males….well, one is still in diapers and one is in-training (which makes it worse). I have to say though, that Hubby is definitely an offender as well. Now that you mention it, I may go on strike with you!

  10. Kim Mar 26th 2007 at 01:57 pm 10

    Thank God I have girls…

  11. Suburban Mum Mar 26th 2007 at 03:46 pm 11

    I am SO in potty training denial. You have just reinforced the issue!

  12. Angela Mar 26th 2007 at 09:43 pm 12

    Oh my. . .that made me laugh so hard! Of course, I should probably not say that as I’m working on potty training my oldest boy right now and have another coming up right after! Oh the joys I have to look forward to, but plenty of writing material.

    Thanks for the laugh!

  13. slackermommy Mar 26th 2007 at 10:24 pm 13

    My little guy pisses all over the walls and toilets also. I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of the pee smell. Maybe we should invent like a tube or something for them to put their penis in?

  14. MammaLoves Mar 27th 2007 at 07:17 am 14

    Oh yeah, three boys and a dad here at our house. I find pee in places I never thought it could reach! The problem with going on strike is that they have a much higher gross threashold than I do.

  15. Dana Mar 27th 2007 at 01:30 pm 15

    So that is where it all comes from. And all this time I have been blaming it on the pets.

    Just wait until he gets older and you have to worry about the shower, but for other unsanitary reasons.

    http://danasstuckinthesticks.blogspot.com/2007/03/im-going-to-run-away.html

  16. Andria Mar 28th 2007 at 10:09 am 16

    For years I have been wondering how the pee made it to the back walls and around the counters. My husband has blamed our child consistently but I know it was there before he was ever born. My biggest pet peeve is walking into each of our three bathrooms and being hit with that smell, or worse, finding it on my bare feet each and every morning. The husband is “supposed” to clean up after himself but it hasn’t happened yet. Thanks for the heads up…at least I know there’s a reason behind it. Still don’t like it.

  17. Kerri Apr 1st 2007 at 01:25 pm 17

    Ahhh…I’ve just joined you in this one. My oldest son has just been potty trained. Yuck, yuck, and more yuck. Why can’t they just all sit down like civilized people? ;)

    Here via CoFL

  18. Play Library » Welcome to the Carnival of Family Life #48! Apr 1st 2007 at 11:20 pm 18

    [...] a giggle with, or feel compassion for, Sara as she presents Reason #21 I Am Not Cut Out To Raise Boys posted at Suburban Oblivion. Note: If you are first time mother of a son, this is a must read! [...]

  19. kailani Apr 3rd 2007 at 12:21 am 19

    Thank goodness I have girls. I wouldn’t even know where to start with raising a boy. There are too many unknowns there! LOL!

    Here from the Carnival of Family Life

  20. Holly Schwendiman Apr 3rd 2007 at 04:03 pm 20

    ROFL - what a visual and fantastically realistic share. Oh the things we thought we knew before we married and had sons….LOL

    Hugs,
    Holly

    Here via the Carnival of Family Life. ;)

  21. Christine Apr 5th 2007 at 07:38 am 21

    I think it is time to start changing building codes to require a drain in the middle of the bathroom floor and a shower attachment next to the toilet.
    Either that or maybe you’re suppose to give your husband a whirl every night before going to sleep? Could be fun.

  22. The Penis Thing, Again. | Suburban Oblivion Apr 19th 2008 at 06:40 am 22

    [...] have said before I am not cut out to raise boys, and I meant it. I keep hoping they’ll have mercy on me and quit throwing me these [...]

  23. Sometimes the Comments are Better Than the Post | Suburban Oblivion Apr 26th 2008 at 06:47 am 23

    [...] other day I posted about one of those oh-so-fun conversations I had to have with my son about how NOT to use his penis. The comments that followed [...]

  24. Angela at mommy bytes May 29th 2008 at 07:23 pm 24

    Luckily from the very beginning, we enforced the sit down and pee rule at our house. He’s allowed to stand everywhere else but at home. And that has proven invaluable to having a clean toilet. Believe it or not, we have more trouble with our daughter leaning back and spraying the bathroom in the beginning!

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