Suburban Oblivion

A Perfect Parent, Reformed

// May 10th, 2007 // Opinion //

I wrote this on one of my mommyboards in response to a thread about what kind of cereal our kids eat, which drew the typical responses of how they only ate whole-grain, sugar-free sticks and twigs with milk. I realize lately we have been encouraged to post about what a *good* mom we are, and I’m not saying I’m a good mom OR a bad mom. I’m a real mom, no more no less.

Do you ever read something and just want to say “Oh cut the bullsh*t already!”? I’m officially at that point.

I’m done competing for the Perfect Parent title. Consider me a dropout.

I used to be a perfect parent. I did everything just as I should, and made sure everyone knew it. I was quick to jump into the posts where we all bragged about what all-natural, whole-grain, preservative free foods we were feeding our babies. I breastfed. I refused to let them cry it out. I carried bottles of Purell in my diaper bag. I did everything ‘right’.

Time and experience has changed me. Maybe it’s because with 3 kids I’m just worn out. Maybe everything I’ve been through with Brendan’s speech delay has changed my outlook. Or maybe I’ve decided that I’d rather be a happy ‘ok mom’ than drive myself crazy trying to be a Perfect Mom.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have my convictions. I still think breastfeeding is the best start, I still don’t believe in letting them CIO, and yes, fruits and veggies are certainly important. But I’m also ready to admit I do a few things I probably ’shouldn’t’. And I’m not afraid to say it here amongst the Perfect Moms we all feel so pressured to look like.

My kids’ favorite cereal is raisin bran. But if I catch Cocoa Crispies on sale for $1.25 a box that week, I don’t mind treating the kids and getting it for them. They love oatmeal, and they really love the kind that has those little sugar dinosaurs in them.

Brendan is a very difficult child. VERY difficult. At almost 4 he still throws tantrums, and his 2 year old brother likes to imitate him. You can imagine how fun it is trying to run errands with the two of them. I have become the mother that the Perfect Moms throw dirty looks at in line at the grocery store.

My kids know what McDonald’s is, because we eat there once a week. And yes, I let them get fries with their meal.

I have great days where I love my kids to pieces. And I have days where I’ve sat in the bathroom and cried because I was so stressed, I didn’t see how I could get through the day.

My kids bedrooms are a mess right now. I have no plans to clean them till Saturday.
Come to think of it my kitchen is not exactly company-ready either.

My kids watch tv. Not all the time, but enough. And especially when I need to get something done.

Brendan doesn’t know all his letters yet, and I’m not a bit worried about it.

So there ya go, Confessions of a No-Longer Perfect Mom. The jig is up, I’m turning myself in. Truth be told, if everyone is alive at the end of the day, thats good enough for me.

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