Comments on: More Thoughts on Perfect Parenting.

By: sarah

sarah — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 13:55:06 +0000

I used to like Rosemond before he got into trouble for re-using and making up columns. Alot of newspapers stopped carrying his column because of that, including my hometown newspaper. I like the website of the lady who used to work for him, the Mean Mom. Check out her website at
http://www.askmeanmom.com

By: The Dependent Generation » Smiling Mom

The Dependent Generation » Smiling Mom — Fri, 25 May 2007 22:15:27 +0000

[...] as I was scrolling through my Google Reader, I came upon Sara’s post from Suburban Oblivion. She recently wrote about being, or rather not being, the perfect [...]

By: Race Mom

Race Mom — Sat, 19 May 2007 14:28:45 +0000

In reference to Wendy’s comment. I totally agree about the leaving home thing. I have two teenage girls just graduate high school on Thursday. I’ve been “reminding” them since Christmas that I have done my job, they now have the skills they need to spread their wings and jump out of the nest. After all this, I see some dumb study on TV about how more and more college grads are returning home because they can’t cope with the outside world! Hmmm. I wonder why?

By: Shawna

Shawna — Sat, 19 May 2007 04:46:27 +0000

Something I have been spouting off about for the past decade…and usually judged harsh for doing so LOL Having raised 7 kids, the sense of entitlement and inabilty to do for one’s self in this generation is truly maddening! You are on to something, so keep speaking up

By: Sarah (In the Trenches of Mommyhood)

Sarah (In the Trenches of Mommyhood) — Sat, 19 May 2007 00:49:37 +0000

Just had to quick tell you I loved your comment on citizenofthemonth’s blog re: mommy bloggers…it was hilarious!

By: Meredith

Meredith — Sat, 19 May 2007 00:29:19 +0000

I totally agree!! I love that my son can play by himself. We did for the most part growing up, why can’t our kids? I was so proud of him the other day when I went to sign him up for preschool and he went running to the playground without so much as looking back to see if I was staying.

By: Heather

Heather — Fri, 18 May 2007 13:17:26 +0000

I wonder if perhaps the inability or refusal to do classroom assignments independently could have a bit to do with the fact that they are assigning homework to kindergarteners? They are of an age where it is pretty darn hard to do homework alone? And then the increase in the amount of learning material they are required to learn? Is it maybe a combination that school is putting too much on them at too early of an age and the parents are stepping in to help and the pattern is set from the get go.

But that’s my viewpoint from the Alabama public education system who has a negative reputation to overcome and I think they are overcompensating for their poor image. At the expense of our kids. Quarterly exams in kindergarten with a cumulative final? Yeah, I have to help out with quite a few assignments we get at home because he is flat out too young to do it alone.

By: Peg

Peg — Fri, 18 May 2007 04:58:15 +0000

A-freakin’-men!

I am odd mommy out in my neighborhood. I’m the one screeching at the kids, “Get back outside, and don’t come in unless you’re bleeding, have to pee, or dead!”

There’s a reason we moved to Podunk, and a reason my hub put up a lovely swingset with a sandbox under the tower part. And while my oldest hasn’t yet started Kindergarten yet, I’ve already vowed:

ONLY one sport at a time. And only ONE non-sport at a time. Period.

Play, ride your bike, dig in the dirt, squish ants in the driveway, hell–run circles around the house singing at the top of your lungs! Find something to do, before I start assigning you housework!!

By: Sensible One

Sensible One — Thu, 17 May 2007 22:48:47 +0000

Oh, amen to that! I’ve always said that my job as a parent was to turn my children into people who will one day leave me – and be perfectly prepared to do so. How can they do that if we control every minute of their day, every day? I think you can go to far and miss everything (like my mom did), but there’s always a happy medium. Great post!

By: Tina

Tina — Thu, 17 May 2007 21:51:56 +0000

I could not agree

In a way you make me think of my 79 yr old mother in law who had 5 kids way back when. 1 being dh. :0) And back then, in the village that they lived in…the kids would go out and play amongst eachother. MOM never played with them. She loved them, fed them washed them etc. But never played with them. And they all grew up relatively “fine” lol.

I do not recall my father ever coming to one of my baseball games as a teen. It never even dawned on meback then. That he should. I wouldn’t dare miss watching one of my daughters skating practices…or at least have one parent watching.

Yes, it’s a different world nowadays.

By: LifeAsIKnowIt

LifeAsIKnowIt — Thu, 17 May 2007 20:14:37 +0000

I think everyone at one time or another feels lost in motherhood.

I know I do right now and am struggling with where my former identity went???

I admit too…I am not a fan of playing outside with the kids. They are more than happy to sit in the sandbox while I watch from the kitchen window

Great post!

By: Kelly

Kelly — Thu, 17 May 2007 19:34:12 +0000

I couldn’t agree more, and it’s why I adore the book The Three Martini Playdate. But problem is, I have no idea how to get to that ideal (i.e. kids entertaining themselves.) They are both such cling-ons, and I confess, without guilt, that it drives me crazy.

By: moodswingingmommy

moodswingingmommy — Thu, 17 May 2007 14:21:12 +0000

Yes, yes, yes and yes! This kind of modern societal expectation drives me nuts! I spent my childhood in my backyard and all over my neighborhood while my parents did their thing. That is not to say that they ignored me. I have many happy memories of spending quality time with them.

I also agree with Smiling Mom wholeheartedly since I’ve seen the same thing in my classrooms. There is a whole generation coming up who have no idea how to be independent. My children will not be part of them if I have anything to do with it.

By: Nell

Nell — Thu, 17 May 2007 11:42:39 +0000

While it may seem counter-intuitive, I think the key to teaching kids to play well alone is not teaching them. I alternate between proud and embarrased to admit that I downright ignore my girls for hours. I know that they’re safe, they know where I am, but they’re fine by themselves.

And I have never heard of John Rosemond – off to Google him now!

By: S

Thu, 17 May 2007 07:10:42 +0000

ohhh just today we went to the park and my 3 year old kept checking in with me, though I was a mere 2 feet away from her on a bench… GO PLAY! That’s my mantra…

By: JamieE

JamieE — Thu, 17 May 2007 03:47:00 +0000

I agree. My mom used to say that her mom said “It’s easy to raise kids so that you can stand them, the point is to raise them so they can live in the world.” part of that is self-entertainment, and I also say the more kids you have the more they just kind of learn how to live with each other, and therefore the world.

By: Smiling Mom

Smiling Mom — Thu, 17 May 2007 02:00:07 +0000

Thank you for writing this! I think I’ll piggyback on your post for my post tonight. As a teacher, I’ve seen this shocking increase in kids who can’t and won’t do their assignments independently. I figured that this had something to do with the ‘nanny’ nation. You know, nannies get paid to play with our kids, not do the dishes, bills, laundry, floors, etc. But I think it also has to do with the way in which we as moms, and society, tells us how to raise our kids.

By: Kara

Kara — Thu, 17 May 2007 01:34:43 +0000

I couldn’t agree more. here here!

My boys can play well alone or together for 20 minutes or so and then they need me…but we are working on it! I can remember playing outside all day long while my parents did whatever it is they did inside….hmm…what did they do inside all day?

By: Donna/Nesting Momma

Donna/Nesting Momma — Thu, 17 May 2007 00:17:55 +0000

My two daughters stay at home with me and I am thinking about home schooling. It is funny though because I think I have more “me” time than most. The driving kids to preschool just to pick them up again and then off again etc is enough to make me want to HS. We schedule playdates, moms groups etc but limit them to 2 times a week. I work really hard on “teaching” my kids independence. Up until 2 I spend a lot of time with them and at 2 kind of get them started in playing and walk away….I have no idea what I’m doing or if it would work for any one else but yes I agree that we are hyper in managing our kids. I do like to dig in the dirt but that is just me. A little selfish. I like to garden but hate the weed pulling so they do it.. I do agree with letting them learn the hard way at times within reason of course. If they fall because you were not standing on top of them then mabey they won’t do that “over” challenging climb again? I am kinda waiting for the day my kids climb over the wall to the neighbors house! …whatever…Love your post!!Agree but have no idea who Rosemond is???oh well

By: Jamie

Jamie — Thu, 17 May 2007 00:09:48 +0000

It’s about time someone was brave enough to fess up!!!! I detest “playing outside”… I mean… for crying out loud… if they are outside doesn’t that mean I should get 20 minutes of me time? We used to play in our front yard with the neighbor kids and no parental supervision… lucky for me we live in the country and only have to worry about snakes and coyotes… but hey, isn’t that what our dog is for?