Comments on: Falling off the Path http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/ Breaking All the Rules I Didn't Make Fri, 05 Mar 2010 13:32:00 -0600 hourly 1 By: My 12 Favorite Posts of 2007. | Suburban Oblivion http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-5959 My 12 Favorite Posts of 2007. | Suburban Oblivion Mon, 31 Dec 2007 17:06:14 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-5959 [...] Falling Off the Path [...] [...] Falling Off the Path [...]

]]> By: In the Trenches of Mommyhood http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3896 In the Trenches of Mommyhood Tue, 28 Aug 2007 15:37:30 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3896 Amen Sara! Amen Sara!

]]> By: Indecisive Woman http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3893 Indecisive Woman Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:21:46 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3893 I'm a new mom. My baby is one month old today, and I've already felt this way several times. Glad to know I'm not alone. I’m a new mom. My baby is one month old today, and I’ve already felt this way several times. Glad to know I’m not alone.

]]> By: rima http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3890 rima Tue, 28 Aug 2007 12:08:43 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3890 Thank you for that post. I wish I had read it yesterday when I had a rock bottom moment. I'm ashamed of the way I acted, yet I posted about it. I think I wanted some confirmation that I couldn't possibly be the only one. Thank you for that post. I wish I had read it yesterday when I had a rock bottom moment. I’m ashamed of the way I acted, yet I posted about it. I think I wanted some confirmation that I couldn’t possibly be the only one.

]]> By: petite mom blog http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3889 petite mom blog Tue, 28 Aug 2007 11:03:56 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3889 I was almost at this point yesterday evening but caught myself before it got worse. However, I did yell and I feel horrible for it now. I dont think there is a parent in the world that hasn't felt this way unless of course they've never spent any time with their children. I just wish I had family close by when these feelings come up so that I can say HERE TAKE THE KIDS I'm going crazy! I was almost at this point yesterday evening but caught myself before it got worse. However, I did yell and I feel horrible for it now. I dont think there is a parent in the world that hasn’t felt this way unless of course they’ve never spent any time with their children. I just wish I had family close by when these feelings come up so that I can say HERE TAKE THE KIDS I’m going crazy!

]]> By: Queen of the Mayhem http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3880 Queen of the Mayhem Tue, 28 Aug 2007 00:55:10 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3880 You will have to forgive me...as I am a little slow on the uptake! I read Janet's post and commented something along these lines.....something like I should watch what I say when my kids might hear......I just now put two and two together about the other comments! I loved this post and I can completely relate! I am glad to know I am not the only one who has occasionally had these feelings! You will have to forgive me…as I am a little slow on the uptake! I read Janet’s post and commented something along these lines…..something like I should watch what I say when my kids might hear……I just now put two and two together about the other comments!

I loved this post and I can completely relate! I am glad to know I am not the only one who has occasionally had these feelings!

]]> By: Shauna http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3875 Shauna Mon, 27 Aug 2007 18:20:29 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3875 Fantastic post, Sara. Well said. Fantastic post, Sara. Well said.

]]> By: Shannon http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3859 Shannon Sun, 26 Aug 2007 20:31:28 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3859 I've had several rock bottom moments in my parenting career and absolutely fantasize about a whole different life. It's very true that it's good to recognize your limits, not compare yourself to others (who may have greater limits), and get help! My doctor once told me that he feels humans are not meant to live in the isolation we live in today and that we would thrive if we lived together in tribes, with our extended families and friends. I think he's got a good point. No one (or maybe even two) parent(s) can take on the awesome task of raising a human being alone. It's just too much, IMO. I’ve had several rock bottom moments in my parenting career and absolutely fantasize about a whole different life. It’s very true that it’s good to recognize your limits, not compare yourself to others (who may have greater limits), and get help! My doctor once told me that he feels humans are not meant to live in the isolation we live in today and that we would thrive if we lived together in tribes, with our extended families and friends. I think he’s got a good point. No one (or maybe even two) parent(s) can take on the awesome task of raising a human being alone. It’s just too much, IMO.

]]> By: Zephra http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3858 Zephra Sun, 26 Aug 2007 17:10:12 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3858 I have been feeling on the edge of one of those melt downs for a few weeks now. I no longer feel like a bad parent when it happens. I am human and sometimes, it feels like everything in the world is being thrown at you at one moment. How could you not melt down. But I am waiting for school to start on Monday and I know there will be relief. I have been feeling on the edge of one of those melt downs for a few weeks now. I no longer feel like a bad parent when it happens. I am human and sometimes, it feels like everything in the world is being thrown at you at one moment. How could you not melt down.

But I am waiting for school to start on Monday and I know there will be relief.

]]> By: Peg http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3857 Peg Sun, 26 Aug 2007 13:40:49 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3857 Aint it the truth--I remember so MANY times feeling that way, especially after I became a stepmom. "What the HELL did I get myself into, and how the hell do I get out of it?" I would ask myself through the sobbing and the tears. Well written, as is JJ's post. Both make me take pause and totally appreciate knowing I'm not alone. Aint it the truth–I remember so MANY times feeling that way, especially after I became a stepmom.

“What the HELL did I get myself into, and how the hell do I get out of it?” I would ask myself through the sobbing and the tears.

Well written, as is JJ’s post. Both make me take pause and totally appreciate knowing I’m not alone.

]]> By: Oh, The Joys http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3853 Oh, The Joys Sat, 25 Aug 2007 19:42:27 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3853 Bust the doors wide open! Let all the Moms (and Dads) know it's normal to feel this way. Go, Sara!!! Amen to this post! Bust the doors wide open! Let all the Moms (and Dads) know it’s normal to feel this way. Go, Sara!!!

Amen to this post!

]]> By: Redsy http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3850 Redsy Sat, 25 Aug 2007 18:00:55 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3850 Oh girl, if I had a nickel for everytime I wanted to run away I'd be a rich woman. Instead, I arrange girls nights out, go out of town to blogHer and get babysitters just so I can free time. In a way, we *are* all trapped... it's just a matter of making sure there are enough air holes in our collective jars. Oh girl, if I had a nickel for everytime I wanted to run away I’d be a rich woman. Instead, I arrange girls nights out, go out of town to blogHer and get babysitters just so I can free time.

In a way, we *are* all trapped… it’s just a matter of making sure there are enough air holes in our collective jars.

]]> By: Serina http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3849 Serina Sat, 25 Aug 2007 17:21:09 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3849 I would say that a parent who never feels this way, who never feels like they aren't up for the job, or never longs for the days before the 24/7 job of raising children came into their life is probably not someone that I would like to know. It just means that you are putting everything that you can into being the best parent that you can be, that is why it is exhausting. Any job well done is exhausting and fraught with peril. I would say that a parent who never feels this way, who never feels like they aren’t up for the job, or never longs for the days before the 24/7 job of raising children came into their life is probably not someone that I would like to know. It just means that you are putting everything that you can into being the best parent that you can be, that is why it is exhausting. Any job well done is exhausting and fraught with peril.

]]> By: Beta Mom http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3848 Beta Mom Sat, 25 Aug 2007 15:36:30 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3848 Thank you for sharing such an eloquent summary of what so many mommies go through. I loved your surgeon analogy. In our house we joke about the fact that you need a license to catch a fish, but any old fool (including me) can have a baby! (And there's no such thing as "catch and release") I agree with many of the comments that express the sentiment that those moments are completely natural in the process of parenting, and are not a reflection of someone's skills or capabilities. I'd be more worried about the stepford mom who smiles through it all - that's just not human. I'm fairly new to blogging, but I appreciate the outlet it's given me to share my musings, and see my both my woes and triumphs reflected in the writings of other moms. Thank you for sharing such an eloquent summary of what so many mommies go through. I loved your surgeon analogy. In our house we joke about the fact that you need a license to catch a fish, but any old fool (including me) can have a baby! (And there’s no such thing as “catch and release”) I agree with many of the comments that express the sentiment that those moments are completely natural in the process of parenting, and are not a reflection of someone’s skills or capabilities. I’d be more worried about the stepford mom who smiles through it all – that’s just not human.
I’m fairly new to blogging, but I appreciate the outlet it’s given me to share my musings, and see my both my woes and triumphs reflected in the writings of other moms.

]]> By: Christina http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3847 Christina Sat, 25 Aug 2007 12:43:08 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3847 I had one of those moments yesterday and blogged about it. It felt awful to want to just leave my kids on someone's doorstep. But you're right, we do all go through those periods sometimes. I had one of those moments yesterday and blogged about it. It felt awful to want to just leave my kids on someone’s doorstep. But you’re right, we do all go through those periods sometimes.

]]> By: Tracy http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3846 Tracy Sat, 25 Aug 2007 12:38:19 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3846 Isn't it funny how we women are? I'm not excluding the guys altogether, but we are such emotional people and NEED to seek out others to help us through these hard times. I have been a mom for just over 12 years. I have had more of those types of days than I care to admit. Parenting is definitely overwhelming! When my two older ones were young, I remember putting them in front of a movie and going into my bedroom and crying until I couldn't cry anymore. This is a safe and sane thing to do. If you can't eke out that little bit of time for yourself to have that emotional release, you may just blow at some inappropriate time. The blogosphere is wonderful - you can find friends and people who are feeling the same way that you are. Keep up the great posting! Isn’t it funny how we women are? I’m not excluding the guys altogether, but we are such emotional people and NEED to seek out others to help us through these hard times.

I have been a mom for just over 12 years. I have had more of those types of days than I care to admit. Parenting is definitely overwhelming!

When my two older ones were young, I remember putting them in front of a movie and going into my bedroom and crying until I couldn’t cry anymore. This is a safe and sane thing to do. If you can’t eke out that little bit of time for yourself to have that emotional release, you may just blow at some inappropriate time.

The blogosphere is wonderful – you can find friends and people who are feeling the same way that you are.

Keep up the great posting!

]]> By: JaniceNW http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3845 JaniceNW Sat, 25 Aug 2007 07:54:36 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3845 When I first moved to Washington state, an aeon ago, I had one toddler and was about to get pregnant with my second. We moved to what I consider a "small" town. I started taking Mommy and Me classes at the local tech school and they SAVED me. There were other moms there who got that sometimes you've had enough of the "mommything" for a half-hour! They never got my sense of humor, but they got the basics and that is what mattered then. We all lose it. I don't care what age your kids are, whether you work outside the house or not, or go to college, we ALL lose it. No one was admitting that back in the early 90's. If I hadn't had the phone and my mother's number I would have ax-murdered all of us!!!!! :shock: When I first moved to Washington state, an aeon ago, I had one toddler and was about to get pregnant with my second. We moved to what I consider a “small” town. I started taking Mommy and Me classes at the local tech school and they SAVED me. There were other moms there who got that sometimes you’ve had enough of the “mommything” for a half-hour! They never got my sense of humor, but they got the basics and that is what mattered then. We all lose it. I don’t care what age your kids are, whether you work outside the house or not, or go to college, we ALL lose it. No one was admitting that back in the early 90’s. If I hadn’t had the phone and my mother’s number I would have ax-murdered all of us!!!!! :shock:

]]> By: Mrs. Schmitty http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3840 Mrs. Schmitty Sat, 25 Aug 2007 04:28:22 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3840 You are so NOT alone. We all lose it from time to time. I applaud you for taking a "time-out" for yourself. It was good for you and good for your children. You are so NOT alone. We all lose it from time to time. I applaud you for taking a “time-out” for yourself. It was good for you and good for your children.

]]> By: christina http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3837 christina Sat, 25 Aug 2007 01:18:05 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3837 I've bottomed and conquered as well. I comprende. good post. I’ve bottomed and conquered as well. I comprende. good post.

]]> By: Megan/ Velveteen Mind http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3836 Megan/ Velveteen Mind Sat, 25 Aug 2007 00:27:34 +0000 http://www.suburbanoblivion.com/2007/08/24/falling-off-the-path/#comment-3836 I absolutely believe that many of us have days quite like this. More than we would like to admit. In fact, more of <i>us</i> than would like to admit it. Mothers and fathers alike. I don't believe that it is a reflection on our parenting or our love for our children, but rather an echo of who we were <i>before</i> we were parents. We were individuals, tied to nothing so strong as we are now to our children. They change everything. And yes, sometimes we find ourselves startled by some of those changes, even when we are quite confident that we would not change our lives for all of the world. I could write so much about this, but instead I'm just going to thank you for reaching out to JJ and exploring this more. I'm off to read JJ's post now and write a mini-blog entry in <i>her</i> comments. I absolutely believe that many of us have days quite like this. More than we would like to admit. In fact, more of us than would like to admit it. Mothers and fathers alike.

I don’t believe that it is a reflection on our parenting or our love for our children, but rather an echo of who we were before we were parents. We were individuals, tied to nothing so strong as we are now to our children. They change everything. And yes, sometimes we find ourselves startled by some of those changes, even when we are quite confident that we would not change our lives for all of the world.

I could write so much about this, but instead I’m just going to thank you for reaching out to JJ and exploring this more. I’m off to read JJ’s post now and write a mini-blog entry in her comments.

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