Suburban Oblivion

I am running from bathroom to bathroom, really having to go, and realizing the toilet paper rolls are empty in every. single. one.

As I pass though the living room:

Me: “Cripes, am I the only person in this house who knows how to change a toilet paper roll?!? ”

Husband, not looking up from video game: “Just look at it as job security!”

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Got this in my lunch on a rare trip to Mickey D’s (no psychopaths this time luckily!). No idea why, but it struck me as incredibly funny. So what kind of bird do they REALLY come from? I seem to have gotten one whole…