The Penis Thing, Again.

Apr19

06:39 am on Apr 19th 2008 Sara

I have said before I am not cut out to raise boys, and I meant it. I keep hoping they’ll have mercy on me and quit throwing me these penis-related curve balls, but no such luck.

Only in my world do I have to explain my dear, sweet 4 1/2 year old son why it is NOT ok to try to get the dog to give your pee-pee kisses. Being before 7:30am the best I could come up with as I stood there hyperventilating was that we don’t let anyone else touch our pee-pees, and that includes the dogs.

It’s officially a race to see who needs therapy first, me or the kids.

Subscribe To Site:

Full Post Feed |

Summary Feed

All new readers are welcome, and I hope you will consider subscribing to my RSS feed or better yet, Subscribe via email for daily delivery!

If you liked this, you might enjoy:

Did This REALLY Happen, Rugrats

22 Responses to “The Penis Thing, Again.”

Natalie Apr 19th 2008 at 08:54 am 1

I hear ya.

Believe it or not, you are not alone in that world. We don’t have a dog, but my boy is umm, *inventive* too.
~JJ! Apr 19th 2008 at 10:48 am 2

Oh goodness…Boys do start young don’t they?

I am laughing though…Sorry.
Mrs. Schmitty Apr 19th 2008 at 10:58 am 3

Oh Boys and their privates….it’s never ending. I can’t stand it! Lately, W. has his hands down his pants CONSTANTLY. I went to kiss him goodnight the other night and I saw movement under his covers. I told him in no certain terms that I would not kiss him until his hands were in sight. He thinks it’s hilarious! I believe that will change in a few years.
Paul OFlaherty Apr 19th 2008 at 11:43 am 4

As one of those boy types let me tell you that this is normal. We under go a love/hate relationship with our penises until we hit puberty.

There will be times when he’ll just want to pull the thing off and throw it in the bin.. that is, until he pulls it the right way.. then he’ll never want to let go
Average Jane Apr 19th 2008 at 12:14 pm 5

Ha! Well, there’s plenty of time to rescind the necessary portions of that statement much, much later.
Cheryl Apr 19th 2008 at 03:03 pm 6

First - it’s great to see you post again.

Second - my boy of the same age has been finding wood in his pants recently. He keeps wanting to show me and I keep explaining that he needs to keep that something private.

It’s amazing what these boy creatures can come up with!
Summer Apr 19th 2008 at 11:03 pm 7

Once they find their best friend, well it just doesn’t end. My 4 year old walks around holding himself all day. It’s like a little, cute, Al Bundy. Sheesh!
Mr Business Golf Apr 20th 2008 at 08:29 am 8

PLEASE…Please…do not tell me your dog is a Pit-Bull..Please! and also, Please do not tell me that your next post is going to be on your dog being gay… Just kidding…I forwarded your blog to my daughter who also has a 4 1/2 year old boy full of pee-pee questions. I am sure she will relate..
Becky Apr 20th 2008 at 08:39 am 9

As a mother of 3 boys all under the age of 6 I can so relate to this post! I am forever telling them they can’t walk around with thier hands down thier pants. I am forever telling them they have to do that in private. Just the other day they wanted me to tell them who was bigger. Still at a loss for words for that!
Lynette Apr 20th 2008 at 09:51 am 10

**bangs head on desk** See, THAT is exactly why I’m afraid of boys (men I can handle). My little boy is 5 1/2 months old and you’ve just added one more bullet point to the list of nightmares I have.
Jamie E Apr 20th 2008 at 01:58 pm 11

I find my self saying “quit touching yourself” far more often than I EVER planned. I guess I should just count my lucky stars that we have no pets.
MammaLoves Apr 20th 2008 at 07:21 pm 12

Me with the three boys and this happened to you first. That is the funniest damned thing I’ve heard all day!! So sorry.
Meg Apr 20th 2008 at 07:32 pm 13

Funny post! I bet you go to therapy first!
Cassey Apr 20th 2008 at 10:50 pm 14

It starts at birth and doesn’t end until the day they die. I asked my then 3 year old what he wanted for his fourth birthday and he said “An even huger pee-pee!”
Jerseygirl89 Apr 21st 2008 at 08:52 am 15

Oh wow - I think that was a great answer, actually.

Right now, I’m so glad that we don’t have a dog.
cate Apr 21st 2008 at 10:05 am 16

oh. my. God! i’m laughing…and at the same time i’m scared out of my fucking mind! i could SO see Logan doing that when he’s older…..thank God we don’t have a dog!!!
Shauna Apr 22nd 2008 at 01:44 pm 17

Paul’s comment has me dying over here!

Has your son yet realized that the dog ‘kisses’ his own penis? Yeah, that was a fun conversation I had with Nicholas…
slackermommy Apr 25th 2008 at 03:57 pm 18

I also get all weirded out by the penis thing. Thankfully I’ve only got one boy and he hasn’t figured out how good doggy penis licks feel.
Rhea Apr 25th 2008 at 10:17 pm 19

I’m so glad you posted this story. I thought I was the only one who had boys doing inappropriate things like that! lol Boys are so fun to raise…and quite a challenge at times as well, if you’re not used to them. I didn’t grow up with boys in my household, so now having two boys, I’ve learned a lot quickly.

Everything is a contest in my house. EVERYTHING. Who can get to the kitchen fastest…who can eat their food fastest…who can be first to pick out which pancake they want…etc. It’s never ending. At least the dog is female.
NukeDad Apr 25th 2008 at 11:02 pm 20

I think Mr. Business Golf may be on to something; does the dog lift his leg to pee, or squat? If he squats, you may have issues.

Nukie Howser
Blog Hoppin
Sometimes the Comments are Better Than the Post | Suburban Oblivion Apr 26th 2008 at 06:48 am 21

[...] other day I posted about one of those oh-so-fun conversations I had to have with my son about how NOT to use his penis. The comments that followed with some of your own stories were hilarious, but one still today makes [...]
Angela at mommy bytes May 29th 2008 at 07:24 pm 22

Good answer! Gotta reinforce the parents and doctor rule.