Suburban Oblivion

In reply to my To Put it Bluntly, Kids Are Assholes post:

Author : jacoplural (IP: 70.18.251.205 , pool-70-18-251-205.res.east.verizon.net)
E-mail : pluralinjacobpants@yahoo.com
URL :
Whois : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=70.18.251.205
Comment:
listen, kids grow up to be like their parents. keep abortion legal people!

Oddly enough, I feel exactly the same way, Jacoplural!

Too bad your mother didn’t.

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Oh goodness, did she really just say what I think she said??

Several months ago I was having a bad day and venting to the Queen about my kids. They’d been driving me batty in one form or another, most likely throwing tantrums or doing their daily wrestle-till-someone-takes-it-too-far matches. Whatever the case they had me one Celexa pill away from murder, when she told my something profound, as only she can.

“Oh Sara, kids are just assholes.”

I alternated between shock that she’d just uttered the words out loud, and wanting to laugh my ass off at the sheer truth of them. How many moms haven’t called their kids a name or two under their breath as they dealt with tantrums, school problems, teenage attitudes, or any of the other joys of motherhood? It takes a better woman than I not to think a naughty thought or two when one of my kids has just broken a jelly jar on my kitchen floor, despite repeatedly telling them to get out of the fridge. And that scream I get when my two year old decides he will NOT do whatever I am telling him to do? Yeah, I’m dropping an F-bomb or three in my head then too.

Naturally I had to laugh when my blogging-buddy Cate at Monkeys and Marbles posted a Friday haiku recently mentioning how she loves her son, even when he’s being an asshole. I could appreciate the sentiment, being in the midst of Terrible Two-ness ourselves with Damian. I know Cate is a good mom, like the rest of us she would never say that to or around her son, it’s just a thought that gets her through in the hardest times. We all have our bad moments, and if the worst of them are contained in our heads, I’d say that’s doing pretty darn well.

Apparently one of her readers begged to differ. They left a comment stating “That you would ever call your child an asshole is horrible.” Either they didn’t understand Cate wasn’t ever saying it out loud, or they did and didn’t care. Cate was stung, and felt the need to explain herself, not that I really think the troll deserves it.

You show me a mom who has never thought badly about her kids, and I’ll show you someone who’s never had a two year old.

Weirdest Google hit this week-

dear god am i ever going to find these 3 women or just one?

Most guys can barely please one woman, why in the hell would they want to annoy three???